I’m preparing to change my general practitioner. There is a new doctor’s office that has recently opened right across the street, and the reviews are stellar. My old GP is half an hour away by tram, and the commute is stressful for me, so it would be really, really convenient to have a doctor right where I live.
But I’m afraid.
I’m scared of new things, and I’m scared of doctors after some bad experiences.
My mind is full of second-guessing. What if I change doctors, and then I find the new one is actually horrible, and I can’t go back to my old one? What if the new doctor wants me to go to some grueling examination? What if she is angry with me because I’m not capable of that right now?
I don’t actually believe the new doctor will be horrible. All the information I have indicates the doctor is good. She is young, and the young doctors usually have better bedside manner and are up to date with new practices. They usually understand neurodivergence better. And everybody seems to be happy with her.
But there is the nervous, nagging voice in my head. What if?
So, here is what I have done to prepare for the appointment. Some things may be different where you live, as the medical system in the Czech Republic is different from English-speaking countries, but I believe you can find some autistic coping strategies that will help you as well.
Managing stress with autism
The first thing I did, even before I booked an appointment, was to read all the reviews I could find. The vast majority of them are great. I probably wouldn’t even consider going to a new doctor if this weren’t the case.
The second thing was to look where the doctor’s office was, so I would know the way when I went there. The entrance was on the opposite side of the building than I thought it would be, so it’s a good thing I checked in advance! If I went there and couldn’t find how to get inside, I would get really, really stressed. When I’m under stress, my brain short-circuits and I can’t think straight. I would probably be running circles around the building, or, more likely, calling the doctor in panic and then feeling like a fool because of it. Not a good start to something that is stressful enough by itself.
The third thing was that I asked about the doctor, and specifically about how their appointment system works, in my local Facebook group. I also asked how happy people are with her, and again, got some stellar recommendations.
The fourth thing was to talk about it with my therapist. She heard me out and suggested a few good tips for autistic coping strategies:
She told me that I could write an email in advance, tell them I’m autistic, and ask them to describe what will be going on during the appointment. This was a great tip, because it calms me down greatly when I know what exactly to expect. If I had to choose one autistic coping strategy, finding out as much information as I can beforehand would be it.
I had to talk myself into allowing myself to write the email. The nagging inner voice told me that I don’t deserve this, that I will be a bother, that people will think I’m weird.
I told the inner voice to shut up. The therapy helped.
Time and time again, I learn that it’s okay to ask for what I need. It isn’t guaranteed that I will get it, but asking is good. Asking is right. Asking can get me the accommodations I need, and life will be easier.
It took me a long time to realize I deserve easier. My trauma argues against, and it’s still loud, but at least I see another way now. And the more I walk it, the easier and easier it will be not to feel guilty for asking for what I need.
More autism-friendly tips
Another helpful thing was to write down what my family anamnesis is, what my health problems are, and what I want to talk about. I can bring the list with me so I remember to talk about everything important. I often do this when going to a doctor, because under stress, my mind can go blank.
I planned to print the medical reports from specialists (that I have scanned and saved).
The therapist also told me that I don’t have to go through with the registration process if anything feels off, and that I can prepare a written statement that I don’t want to change doctors. This could help because refusing to go through with the process would be immensely stressful for me, and if the worst came to the worst, I could just put the note on the table and leave. This is a worst-case crisis scenario that I don’t actually believe will come to pass, but I’m preparing nonetheless.
And the last thing: I wrote down all the reasons why I’m doing this. I won’t have to take the long tram ride to my doctor when I’m sick. I won’t have to commute to a laboratory when they need blood samples because the new doctor does it herself. I will go to regular checkups (which I haven´t done for many years), because the doctor is close by.
I will read this list before the appointment to reassure myself when I’m nervous. I believe it will greatly help with the second-guessing when I start asking why I’m doing this to myself.
Now I feel I have prepared quite well, and I’m less nervous about the whole ordeal. I know I will be anxious, but I feel better knowing I have done all that I could to prepare and ensure everything will go smoothly.
The last thing – and this is a bit of Prattchet-esque headology – I have realized lately that when I’m anxious about something that will happen in the future, I won’t actually influence the outcome by being anxious. So I can as well tell myself that all will be well, because the only difference is that otherwise I will feel bad beforehand. It helps! As they say, prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
What autistic coping strategies do you have when you have to do something stressful? Share them in the comments!
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