A year into protracted withdrawal abstinence syndrome from benzodiazepines.
It has caused anxiety.
It has caused depression.
It has caused great suffering.
But probably the worst is how it has stolen my feelings. All of my good feelings have all but disappeared.
It’s torture.
Day by day in the same greyness.
Day by day in the same emptiness, losing my will to live.
Day by day, every day is the same.
I found her outside on a walk. She was sitting in the grass on the roadside. Her fur was a perfect, startling white. She was happily nibbling on something she held in her tiny paws. I stared at her in awe and then suddenly realized she couldn’t possibly survive outside. I scooped her up before I could think it through, and just like that, I suddenly had a mouse. I didn’t know at the time that she would become my best friend. I didn’t know she would save my life as I saved hers. I didn’t know how much I would love her.
Did you notice that our culture equates behaving in a natural way with being childish?…