There is a Czech blogger that I respect a lot. She survived the death of her husband while pregnant with her third child, and she didn’t let this devastate her — she grew from it. She writes about spirituality, mental health, and an alternate lifestyle. She is an inspiring person. But lately, more and more, I find that my views on life sometimes clash with hers.
A Facebook post on autism uncovered a difference in opinions
Lately, she wrote a whole long Facebook post about autism. She wrote that psychiatric diagnoses have surged in recent years, and it seems that everyone has a diagnosis these days. And while understanding and support are crucial, we should question whether every case requires a diagnosis.
Diagnoses have evolved and are influenced by trends, authority, and culture, she continued. Some find value in the diagnosis, aiding them in navigating challenges and embracing their uniqueness. Parents of autistic children often feel relief, knowing it’s not their fault. But we should avoid letting the diagnosis define us or our children. Instead, we should focus on living in the present and taking action for improvement. Imagine a world without the diagnosis of autism — treating individuals as different, but appreciating our shared humanity.
She seemed to imply that people “should get over their diagnosis” and it didn’t sit well with me
I did connect to this post, and I really like the last part. I did worry (and I still do) if I’m letting the diagnosis override my identity as a person. But the discussion below bothered me. In the comments, she seemed to express the opinion that there are two stages: the first of accepting the diagnosis, and the second, supposedly superior, of moving behind it. Leaving it behind.
And while I wonder if I’m walking this path myself, and I think that the emphasis on my humanity, not neurodivergence, is my final destination, I know a number of neurodivergent people who would vehemently disagree with the notion of leaving the diagnosis behind. I have ambivalent feelings about this as well.
In the discussion below her Facebook post, I expressed that my opinion on this differs and this blogger offered me in response an invitation to reflect on whether it is good to use a diagnosis as a crutch, as a shield, as a part of one’s identity.
And I thought about it long and hard.
My answer: Wielding the diagnosis as a sword
The answer to the first question is clear to me: who among you will refuse crutches if they break their leg and tell the doctor they’d instead hop on one leg until the other heals? Sometimes a crutch is needed if we are disadvantaged in some way.
But the rest is more complicated. Especially identity. Before I made the decision to get diagnosed, I was afraid that autism would become my identity and a shield to hide behind. I didn’t want that. I know I’m so much more than a label.
In the end, I ended up incorporating autism and ADHD into my identity, but it’s definitely not the whole me.
And I’m aware that every person is different in this. Some people don’t want the label at all. Some accept their neurodivergence as the basis of their identity. And most people will probably say, “Oh, that’s why I’m different! That’s where my problems come from! I just got an explanation. I just found out I’m not alone.”
And all of that is OK.
I admit that I use my diagnosis as a shield sometimes. Especially when fighting the bureaucratic hydra of the state. But lately, I’ve mostly been using it as a sword. A sword to clear a path for those who come after me.
That’s why I write about autism and ADHD on my blog. We need to let people know we exist. We need people to know who we are. We need people to know what we need. We need to be accepted as part of society.
And all of this won’t just materialize unless someone starts spreading the word — ideally someone who can look at the issue from the inside. I think this is a time when neurodivergence needs to be talked about and written about. To make it mainstream.
And one final thought. Autism, ADHD, and other similar terms have been coined as labels for certain differences that are considered pathological. But I’m not alone in thinking they are simply part of neurodiversity — part of the normal spectrum of human brains.
Today, I’m picking up the sword, or rather, the pen, to tell the world about autism and ADHD. But there will come a time when it will be enough for me to simply write about being different. There will come a time when people will understand that we are all different, and some may even be very different, and that it’s perfectly okay.
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In the ebook AuDHD Experience, which is a collection of posts from this blog, I talk about the constant inner conflict. About autistic days and ADHD days. About the AuDHD burnout and why it’s so hard to get out of it. About balancing these two very different sets of needs – and about self-acceptance, despite the odds. If you want to feel that someone gets you, this ebook is just the thing for you. Check it out now here!
