When I was in college, I got a book titled The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron as a part of my payment for a copyediting gig. And I loved it. It encompasses not only the usual ‘how-to’s’ but also the psychological and even spiritual aspects and roadblocks of creativity. I was enthralled. Until I turned to the page that described how very important it is to find joy in little things when your life is otherwise miserable.
“How can that work?” mused my younger self. ‘When I feel good, I feel good. And when I feel bad, I just feel bad. That’s how it is. But how could I feel joy when I was feeling bad?’ The concept just didn’t make sense to me. No matter how hard I tried to understand, it simply did not compute. How can I feel even the smallest of joys, how can I feel any joy at all, when I have problems so big that I’m in mental pain all the time? I read that passage over and over, trying to make sense of it. But I just couldn’t. I was 21 years old, barely an adult, and my world was very black and white. No shades of gray in between. I had yet so much to learn.
I also suffered from untreated depression, but that’s a story for another time. Back then, I couldn’t make myself believe that when a dark cloud hung over my very existence, I still could feel good in any way. How could the little things be of any significance? How could they change this state of being? No, that simply couldn’t be true.
Fast forward some ten years later, and I must admit that Julia Cameron was right. I discovered that you can feel more than one thing at a time. That your life might be mostly misery, but you can still be happy, even if for a moment when you see a pretty flower, enjoy a good book, hear a bird singing, drink a cup of delicious tea… And I learned that, in fact, those little things aren’t as little as they seem. During all those years, those ‘little’ things kept me alive in bad times.
Even the tiniest of joys matter. And when you add all those pieces of happiness together, they may still not be enough for a completely happy life — but they can add together until they form a safety net that helps you from falling into the abyss of despair. They may give you the will to live. They can help you to hang on through the dark times, and give you a little push to overcome them. And when life finally takes a turn for the better, they will start to create a foundation for a happy life.
Because, ultimately, it’s not just the big things in your life that matter. In the grand scheme of things, those small moments of joy may matter even more. After all, how can you live joyfully if you are unable to feel joy in the little moment that exists right here and now? Because right here and now is everything we have. Life consists of a series of ‘here and nows’. If you have enough happy ones and put them together, you will find that you live a happy life.
It doesn’t matter if you have achieved something great. It doesn’t matter if you have a successful career. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or famous. The only thing that matters is how you spend the limited amount of moments that you have on this Earth.
How can you find more little joys in your life? Here are some small steps that you can take towards a more positive mindset:
Start a journal of little joys
Every evening, sit down and write 3 things that brought you a moment of joy that day. It doesn’t have to be anything big. A stranger who smiled at you. A cup of your favorite coffee. A flower blooming along your way. Search your day for the things you enjoyed. Things that made you feel warm inside, little experiences that put a smile on your face. After you do this for some time, you will find out that you get better at noticing those little joys as they happen. And they will add up.
If you want to dive in and do more complex exercises, you can try answering the questions from this post.
Tell a family member
This is a variation of the above, except you share your little joys with another person. If you live with a partner or other family, or even friends, you can make it an evening ritual to share with each other what little moments of joy you have experienced throughout your day. It’s a bonding experience as well, one that benefits every participant. I and my partner have been doing this for over a year now and it’s a soothing activity that helps us unwind and calm down before sleep.
“All of these were small moments that I normally don’t find myself dwelling on, and realizing that they actually gave me pleasure made my day feel so much more meaningful.” — Martha Tesema
Start a social media account dedicated to the little joys
Seriously, the world needs more sources of everyday positivity. Dedicate an Instagram profile, a Facebook page, a YouTube channel, a blog, or any other online community to documenting your various little joys. The great benefit of this method is that it’s social. You don’t do it just for yourself, but for your readers as well. They can be your accountability partners, and you will add a bit of positivity to their lives. This connection will create a sense of meaning that can help you to continue. Soon you will find that you are actively looking for positive things and little joys to share.
Learn how to create little joys
Once you have learned how to recognize the little joys in your life, it’s time to take it a step further. Take every opportunity to bring as many of them as you can into your life. Notice what made you happy and replicate it. You can use the journal of little joys as a source of inspiration. No matter how busy you are, find a few moments just for yourself. Allow yourself the time for joy. It’s not a luxury, it’s healthy self-care. Everyone needs some joy in their life, so give it to yourself without any guilt.
I hope that you can find and create joy in every day of your life.
