Dear mum,
I know you are confused about my recent autistic diagnosis. It’s difficult to adjust your view of someone you have known all their life – I know because it was difficult to adjust my view of myself. It took me some time and I understand that it will take you some time as well. But now I embrace my autistic identity and I would like you to understand it better.
When you have ADHD, it can be insanely hard to get anything done, ever. That goes for keeping your house clean and organized too. It can be hard when you need to adult every day, but your brain just won’t have it. So I found some methods to work with the quirks my brain has. I adapt my daily tasks according to what I know about myself and it shows some results. I hope some of this will help you too.
For quite some time, I have been gathering tips about natural supplements to help manage ADHD. I have lurked in ADHD Facebook groups, and from time to time, someone would come up with an ADHD supplement that helped them greatly. I paid attention and added it to my list if other people said it helped them too. I looked for the best supplements for ADHD on Reddit as well. I googled. I put the information together bit by bit. Here is a list of the most often mentioned ADHD supplements for adults and children.
If you tried decluttering at all, you are probably familiar with the famous technique “Set your timer for 15 minutes and go!”
It works for a variety of reasons. One of them is that it lowers the bar for beginning, and sets a doable goal. Another is that it gives you a corrected timeframe — if you are time-blind, you can feel like the tasks you can do in 15 minutes take an hour, so you may be pleasantly surprised by how short a time it really takes. Yet another advantage can be that it gives you a deadline, allowing you to race against the clock, making it into a competition with yourself.
If you have ADHD like me, you are probably on the endless pursuit of things that would give you a bit more dopamine. Checking things off a list can be one of the ways. But what if you took it one step further and made it a game where you can earn things? Instant dopamine!
When I discovered Finch, I was skeptical at first. But with so many recommendations all over the internet, I decided to give it a try. And soon I was hooked.
You are sitting on your couch, scrolling through Facebook. You know you need to get up and start working, but you simply can’t. It’s like your brain has taken on a life of its own, refusing to let you get up and begin. “Why can’t I just DO it?” you ask yourself, again and again. You feel guilty. You feel self-loathing. You call yourself lazy. But even so, you can’t get up and start.
And it isn’t your fault.
Yes, autism and ADHD are a part of my personality, a part of being myself. And thus, there are both good and bad sides to them. But I think that reducing the good parts into one “superpower” (preferably one that can be turned into income), is brutally oversimplifying the matter — and creating a sense of pressure. A sense that you are not good enough. That you are somehow failing in neurodiverging. And as you probably felt that you were failing basic peopleing before that, what’s left? You don’t need that kind of shame.
Ever since I remember, I have always wanted two completely opposite things at the same time — both with equally great passion. To go out with friends and to be alone, to travel and to stay at the places I know, to attend various events, and to stay at home and read. Whatever I decided, there was a part of me that was always unsettled. As an adult, I realized that other people around me aren’t such a mess of contradictory desires. But it was only after watching this video by Yo Samdy Sam that it dawned on me — this is happening to me because the “autistic part” of me and the “ADHD part” always want — or need — completely different things.
There is a Czech blogger that I respect a lot. She survived the death of her husband while pregnant with her third child, and she didn’t let this devastate her — she grew from it. She writes about spirituality, mental health, and an alternate lifestyle. She is an inspiring person. But lately, more and more, I find that my views on life sometimes clash with hers. Lately, she wrote a whole long Facebook post about autism. She wrote that psychiatric diagnoses have surged in recent years, and it seems that everyone has a diagnosis these days. And while understanding and support are crucial, we should question whether every case requires a diagnosis. I did connect to this post, and I really like the last part. I did worry (and I still do) if I’m letting the diagnosis override my identity as a person. But the discussion below bothered me.
If you are Autistic and ADHD (AuDHD for short) and you are in a burnout…